16 and NOT Pregnant.

These years especially, I always get told "Wow! You're getting so tall!" or "Oh my goodness! You're getting so big!" even "You're getting so much older!" First of all, time does seem to do that to a person, and second, if you're one of those people that I see on a regular basis and you're telling me this I promise you my cell division is not as rapid as you think it is.

Though these are the ones I hear most often, the one I frown most upon is "So? When are you going to have kids?" At this point you will be given the 'You are stupid' look along with the laugh that makes them feel better and grants my wish for you to walk away tall.

Unfortunately, I'm not always lucky. Sometimes, I get those nuggets who keep pressing to know exactly when I will become a human cannon or who do I think the lucky guy is going to be, and recently I have given up on supplying an answer. I now reply with "Oh. I don't know." And I get this look like I'm now a child beater.

Here's the thing. I work with kids every summer and I have come to the conclusion that all kids are butt holes. Including my future ones, but the difference is, my kids are my pooper nuggets and I will forever love them. I get people telling me all the time "Oh wow! You're so great with kids!" or "My son/daughter loves you!" The reason for this is because they're not my kids! I'm not going to go up to your child and scream at him! That makes no sense! "Oh hey kids! YOU SUCK!" No. That's stupid... Also, when I do have a tiny human, I kinda hope they have my husband's personality. I don't think the world can handle another Jamila harassing them all the time. I do that enough.

This is me most probably emotionally harassing someone.