If you are have any one or more of the following, a pedophile style mustache , New Balance sneakers, and/or a turtleneck, you need to burn them. Now.
Facial hair in general is not a problem. I'm surrounded by hairy faced men (and the occasional women) quite often, but if you have a mustache that makes even the stupidest children quickly run toward their mommies, you have a problem. I'm also sure that it makes you less intelligent. I feel like it blocks cognitive abilities and makes your IQ equivalent to a banana peel. So, do everyone a favor and shave it off!
Another no-no is those dumb New Balance shoes. You are not allowed to wear them unless you are the owner of a billion dollar company named after a fruit, and you're not, because you would be dead.
Lastly, turtlenecks. I saw three people wear them today at school, and every time I saw them I couldn't help but think about how much they looked like llamas. Malnourished ones too. It was disgusting. A lot of people must be saying "How are you one to tell us? You don't even wear normal clothes!" Well, Capt. Obvious, I may not wear a shirt and jeans, but I do know that these three things are not something you find attractive. If you do, you're probably Howard Wolowitz. In that case, you're still not attractive.
Yours truly,
Jamila
What do you have to say for your self Dr. Phil?
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