Welcome to the Future

     Growing up sucks! I remember always wanting to be older thinking "WOW! It must be so cool to be 16 or 26 or whatever age that doesn't require you to iron your face." Well, I was wrong. If you are a reading this as a parent I would like you to bring a small human, preferably literate, to your computer. If you are a small human reading this, your folks may not be doing their best in parenting you and I apologize for corrupting your brain with the past posts.

Anyway, I thought I would write to these young ones.

Dear future adults of this world,

     I would like to start off by crushing your hopes. Being older sucks, school will get worse, and that guy/girl that you are throwing rocks at because you like him/her will probably become a drug addict.
     I remember going outside everyday to play kickball with my neighbors or climbing the brick wall in my backyard imagining it to be The Great Wall of China. I would do all my homework as fast as I could just so I could go out to play. But slowly, the 3 hours outside became 2 hours, and then 1 hour, until it became only a memory that I wish I could re-live for just one more day.
     I feel like you kids don't even do this stuff anymore. Now, I'm not going to lie, technology is awesome, but what happened to playing pretend or jumping around with a sugar overdose? It's like you're not even trying to be a kid.
     Don't grow up too fast. You'll regret it once you realize how much of a hot mess this world is.

                                                                             From,
                                                                             The 16 year old that wishes she could have it all back




   

16 and NOT Pregnant.

These years especially, I always get told "Wow! You're getting so tall!" or "Oh my goodness! You're getting so big!" even "You're getting so much older!" First of all, time does seem to do that to a person, and second, if you're one of those people that I see on a regular basis and you're telling me this I promise you my cell division is not as rapid as you think it is.

Though these are the ones I hear most often, the one I frown most upon is "So? When are you going to have kids?" At this point you will be given the 'You are stupid' look along with the laugh that makes them feel better and grants my wish for you to walk away tall.

Unfortunately, I'm not always lucky. Sometimes, I get those nuggets who keep pressing to know exactly when I will become a human cannon or who do I think the lucky guy is going to be, and recently I have given up on supplying an answer. I now reply with "Oh. I don't know." And I get this look like I'm now a child beater.

Here's the thing. I work with kids every summer and I have come to the conclusion that all kids are butt holes. Including my future ones, but the difference is, my kids are my pooper nuggets and I will forever love them. I get people telling me all the time "Oh wow! You're so great with kids!" or "My son/daughter loves you!" The reason for this is because they're not my kids! I'm not going to go up to your child and scream at him! That makes no sense! "Oh hey kids! YOU SUCK!" No. That's stupid... Also, when I do have a tiny human, I kinda hope they have my husband's personality. I don't think the world can handle another Jamila harassing them all the time. I do that enough.

This is me most probably emotionally harassing someone.