Uneven Ratio

My name is Jamila and I am a Muslim. Unfortunately, some people can't seem to comprehend this. Especially at school, but then again the student-teacher-idiot ratio is completely out of whack. I wear my traditional clothes to school (They're very comfy. I wear my PJ's under them), so naturally I get asked questions. Here's the deal, I don't mind answering your questions, but I do advise that you think very hard about what you're about to ask me. A stupid question will be answered by a smart-ass remark.

Like I said, the number of people with an IQ lower than Kim Kardashian is ridiculous, and of course they are the ones to ask me the stupid questions. This includes:

- Do you speak muslim?
- Do you ever get a rash from wearing all that cloth?
- Do you have more than one of those outfits?
- Can I see what you wear under that? (By the way, person who asked me that, you are repulsive!)

So people, what do you have to say for yourselves?

These days the questions are asked on a daily basis, and I have learned that I am able to amuse myself greatly with a well thought out story. My personal favorite being the day a bimbo got enough brain power to talk to me.

Bimbo: Do you shower in that?
Me: In what?
Bimbo: In your outfit.
Me: sarcastically Yes.
Bimbo: Really? So how do you have so many colors?

At this point I just couldn't resist.

Me: Pulling out the end of my headphone wire that was in my pocket Well, you see this wire? I just plug it into the computer and program the colors!
Bimbo: Wow! That really works?
Me: Oh yea! Works like a charm!

This idiot tried to continue this conversation, but I was this close to hi five-ing her face.

Now, if you will excuse me I need to go and convince a Buddhist that he owes me money from three lifetimes ago.

This is what my outfit looks like

16 and NOT Pregnant.

These years especially, I always get told "Wow! You're getting so tall!" or "Oh my goodness! You're getting so big!" even "You're getting so much older!" First of all, time does seem to do that to a person, and second, if you're one of those people that I see on a regular basis and you're telling me this I promise you my cell division is not as rapid as you think it is.

Though these are the ones I hear most often, the one I frown most upon is "So? When are you going to have kids?" At this point you will be given the 'You are stupid' look along with the laugh that makes them feel better and grants my wish for you to walk away tall.

Unfortunately, I'm not always lucky. Sometimes, I get those nuggets who keep pressing to know exactly when I will become a human cannon or who do I think the lucky guy is going to be, and recently I have given up on supplying an answer. I now reply with "Oh. I don't know." And I get this look like I'm now a child beater.

Here's the thing. I work with kids every summer and I have come to the conclusion that all kids are butt holes. Including my future ones, but the difference is, my kids are my pooper nuggets and I will forever love them. I get people telling me all the time "Oh wow! You're so great with kids!" or "My son/daughter loves you!" The reason for this is because they're not my kids! I'm not going to go up to your child and scream at him! That makes no sense! "Oh hey kids! YOU SUCK!" No. That's stupid... Also, when I do have a tiny human, I kinda hope they have my husband's personality. I don't think the world can handle another Jamila harassing them all the time. I do that enough.

This is me most probably emotionally harassing someone.