Sunday, December 23, 2012

What Dove Chocolate Fortunes Really Mean

I eat way too many Dove Chocolates, and I blame it on the fact that I want to know what each and everyone says on the inside of the wrapper. After eating one too many I feel like Dove is giving me hidden meanings...

What is says:

What it really means:
Life is good...not including rape, diarrhea, sticky hands, math, grandparents trying to understand technology, stolen wallets, child birth, STD's, arthritis  heart burn, indigestion,  failure, sadness of the heart, people who kick kittens, commercials, Hitler, Steve Carell leaving The Office, Amy Pohler breaking up with Will Arnett, The Kardashians, pop culture in general, and smelly poop.


What is says:
What it means:
Become a pyromaniac. Burn your house down. Go ahead..Dove told you to do it. 


What it Says:
What it means:
You know what it means...


What it says:
What it really means:
I hope you fall and hit your face on the dance floor


What it says:
What it means:
Let your worries pile up and then stress about them later while you cry about your life


What it says:
What it means:
Chocolate loves your thighs unconditionally

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